The Ending of my L i f e
by Light in the Rain
Summary: Is it such a crime for me to be alive that you feel the need to kill me? Is my existence that deplorable to you? Am I so wrong that you can't just let me live my life? You have to steal what happiness I can grasp in my hands? Yet we're the monsters...


The Ending of My L i f e

**The **_**Ending**_** of My L i f e**

Light Note: My version of the Kixen/Xinre fading away part. Don't know if I like it all that much, and it is pretty short… but my theme that I came up with was Even Nobody's have lives to live. Because that's why Roxas hadn't wanted to at first either. He was happy with the life he had now, and didn't want to lose that.

The part with Xinre talking about the other Org. members is how I think the two would interact with them. Anyway, please enjoy!

_Light of Heaven_

- - - - -

Honey searched through honey.

Blue glared at blue.

She didn't know how much more standing off she could handle, and she was sure her Somebody felt the same. A strand of her rosy colored hair slipped out of her barrette and into her eyes, tickling her nose. Ignoring it, she instead called out, "Did you even take us into consideration?"

The older blonde frown, her hazel eyes darkening with her mood, "Why the hell should I?" Her staff was out, one half in each hand. A younger looking blonde stood next to her, arrow already knocked and ready to fire.

The brunette standing next to the pink haired girl scoffed, "Are you daft?" The two girls growled, "O! Testy, aren't we?"

The other girl scowled, "Xinre. Don't antagonize them." Xinre's eyebrows flew to the top of her head, mouth open wide, "What?"

Xinre shook the expression from her face, "Nothing… Just not something I would expect from the Goddess of Chaos." Her face was toward her Somebody, but her eyes were fixed on that of her partners. Kixen's eyes remained on that of her opposite's, "Kixen…"

"Hey!" Xinre glared over at the older girl, "Are we just going to stand here, or actually do some fighting?" Kixen sneered.

"What a brute."

"I thought you said not to antagonize them?"

Kixen faced Xinre, her expression hard, brows and lips drawn down, "You know who they are, do you not?" Xinre avoided that look, "Then you know what's riding on us winning." When she didn't answer, Kixen repeated, "You know, don't you?" Finally the girl nodded, albeit reluctantly, "Then don't mess up."

Xinre glowered, "I never make mistakes. I am The Puppet Mistress."

The two turned and faced their opponents, finally drawing their weapons of choice; a blindingly red whip for Kixen and a deceivingly delicate looking fan for Xinre.

"Neki."

"Reni."

The two steeled their nerves.

"Kixen."

"Xinre."

With gracefully ease, Kixen tugged at the whip, causing it to dance forward, the sharpened tips glinting in the light. Another flick, and it was sent flying towards Neki, who deflected it with as much simplicity. Charging forward, Neki spun one half over her head, tossing it as if it weighed nothing toward her Nobody. Kixen slid forward, landing a kick to Neki's abdomen, rushing the air from her lungs.

"You're blind."

Regaining her composure, Neki managed to gasp in enough air to get out, "And why's that?"

Xinre took a running leap, bringing her foot down upon Neki's head. Reni ran forward as well, firing an arrow into the arm of her Nobody, causing her to retreat a few paces. Flipping open her fan, Xinre raised it over her head and brought it down, making rays of light shoot out and cut through Reni's porcelain skin. The young blond found her arms trapped by Kixen, who then spun on her heels and flung the girl head first into the floor.

"Those who cannot see cannot think to know."

Reni stood up and bellowed, "We'd know if you'd TELL us!"

Instead of an answer, Reni saw another round of streaking lights fill her vision, then the fist of her Nobody made contact with her nose. She flew backwards, into the arms on Neki. Xinre clasped hands with Kixen, then stepped to the outside of the arena they were in. Kixen danced her whip about, making it look as if it was alive. Neki lowered Reni to the floor, summoning her staff and twirling it before banging it onto the ground.

"What's so bad about becoming whole again?"

Uncontrollable rage danced in Kixen's eyes, but her voice was level, "It is none of your concern."

The two charged at each other, and Kixen wrapped her whip around Neki's staff, making it fly from her grip, landing another perfect kick to her stomach, and a punch to the side of the face, Neki fell to the floor. Reni stood in anger, but swayed as her vision blurred. Xinre was in front of her in an instant, sweeping her feet from under her and bringing her elbow into her gut. Kixen's eyes glanced over at the younger pair.

"None of my concern?" asked Reni, wheezing from the hit, "We are the same!"

"NO!" roared the two, retreating to each other's side.

"No…" repeated Xinre, her eyes brimming with tears not meant to be shed. And while Kixen's eyes were dry, they were downcast on the floor.

"We have no hearts," began Kixen, the melancholy she was feeling seeping into her voice. As she brought up her eyes to lock gazes with mirror images, she cried out, "But does that mean we cannot have lives of our own? That we are destined to become beings longing for something that we've never known? Why is it that you cannot feel emotion without a heart?" As a single tear escaped from the blockade Kixen had put up, Neki had begun to step forward, "Do you think that my tears are here to deceive you?"

A thud from beside her told the candy cotton haired girl that Xinre had succumbed to her tears and had fallen to the ground. She was surprised to see Reni running forward to comfort the girl, "I want to go home… I want to hear Demyx play, and I want to read books with Zexion, and work in the garden with Marluxia and make things explode with Vexen and then make fun of him for it and I want to… I want to…" A strangled cry came forth, "I want to be Xinre forever!"

As Neki drew closer, Kixen could feel the pull that the blonde had on the whole in her person. She could feel the desire of a heart pounding through her blood, and she feared it. She cried out at the sensation, wanting nothing more then to crawl under the warm covers in their small apartment.

Xinre too, scorned the feeling, instinctively pulling away from Reni, "Don't touch me." She didn't want a heart. She didn't need a heart. Wasn't she fine as she was? She was alive, for the most part. A heart wasn't necessary for survival and emotion. Still Reni advanced, causing her to scream, "DON'T TOUCH ME!

Kixen backed up, throwing her hands in front of her, "I don't need your pity!" She brought out her whip, successively lashing Neki across the face, but widened her eyes when the Somebody didn't even flinch, "Stop it! Stop it!! STOP!!" Kixen backed up again, tripping over her foot and falling to the ground, she screamed again, "PLEASE STOP!"

Tears rained down the faces of all the girls, but Neki cried the most. She should have known. She was the oldest, she should have been more sympathetic. She should have understood… After all the things she did with Roxas, knowing full well what he was, she hadn't understood the complexity of it all. She had seen him happy, sad, angry, tired, embarrassed.

Yet why couldn't she admit to herself that other Nobody's like Roxas can do that? Why did she force herself to believe that every other Nobody besides Roxas meant her harm. Arms open wide, she pulled the crying girl into an embrace, whispering a farewell into her ear, "I'm sorry."

Xinre watched with wide, tearful blue eyes as the only person she cared to trust with everything began to vanish, Neki glowing with the new addition. More salty excursions blurred her vision, and she turned her head slightly to the fuzzy crouching Reni, "I hate you…" Reni just nodded, wiping at her own tears and beckoning for the girl, "I hate you…" she repeated that sentence like a mantra as she crawled forward into the warmth of the younger blondes arms, "I hate you…" A great sadness filled her heart, and she clawed at it, hating it's very existence.

Then she felt a hand clasp onto hers, and a smile adorning a face framed by bubblegum pink hair and accented by glowing hazel eyes filled with love.

Xinre stared at the face, wondering how the girl could stand to smile after what they had just lost.

"You know, they live on an island…"

Her face scrunched up, "So?"

Kixen's eyes glazed over, the smile softer, "I've never seen the sea." Blinking, Xinre finally smiled as well, gentle tugs on the corners of her lips.

"You know…Me either."

_E n d_


End file.
